Daddy’s Day

I never know what to do for father’s day. Never know what to say. I’ve forgiven him for not being there when I was little, sure, but it’s still hard, trying to tell people- trying to tell myself- how great of a dad he is when he wasn’t even there. All of my memories of him were outstanding from the memories of the every day, because he wasn’t part of my every day. He wasn’t even part of my week. Not my month, not even my year, sometimes. Sure, he’d call every few months and check in, when he thought about me. There was the time he and my step mom came down to visit and took my little sister and I to the water park. The time he picked us up to take us to the mall for a mini-spree. The mall was always fun for my sister and I, since we didn’t get to go very often. Trips there were limited to holidays, mostly. Holidays and back to school shopping. But still. There was a period of something like ten years where I saw my father maybe six or seven times, for at most a week at a time. I’m twenty-one, now, living with him, and I still don’t know how to talk to him sometimes. Don’t know what to say. Even now that he’s part of my “everyday” life, there are times I see him and I’m just like ‘what the heck do I say?’

I say “everyday” because there are sometimes four or five days that we go without seeing each other, even though we live in the same house. I wake up late (noonish) and come home early (one thirty to two in the morning, on a good night, four or five on a less good one), and he wakes up early (before noon) and comes home late (ten or eleven at night on a good night, midnight on a less good one).

Our relationship is still a work in progress, maybe, but at least he’s here now, ya know? I’m grateful for that, even though I may have missed out on quite a few things with him. He didn’t teach me to ride my big-kid bike, nor how to throw, nor how to punch, but he’s here now and that’s all that I could ask him for. He’s here to talk to, when I need to talk, to hug when I need a hug, laugh at with when I need to laugh…

And, I mean, he’s letting me live with him and use the car pretty much when I want, and he feeds me, which is nice ;p

Love ya, Daddy. <3

Happy early Father’s Day


Pobody’s Nerfect

I don’t remember how long ago it was that I was riding in the car with my mother talking about messing things up when she said “Pobody’s nerfect” the first time. In my family we all seem to have this thing that we call ‘verbal dyslexia’ that we all think is hilarious, and it seemed especially fitting that it decided to show itself in this particular conversation that we were having, because she very clearly made her point. Nobody’s perfect. Period.

A couple days ago, my boyfriend wore a shirt that said “As Is!” on the front of it, and on the back it told how the Bible is filled with imperfect people, just like you and me. I only just found out that it was a song by Peder Eide, but oh well. It says:

“Moses was a stutterer, David was a murderer,

Jeremiah’s suicidal, naked in the street.

Paul, he had a problem, with specifics left unsaid,

Timothy had stomach aches, and Lazarus was dead.

Samson was a long-haired, arrogant womanizer,

Rahab was scarlet corded, lady of the street,

John the Baptist eatin’ bugs and honey on his bread,

Gideon a scaredy-cat, and Lazarus was dead.

As is,

As is,

He chooses us as His.

As His,

As His,

He infuses us as is.

Never ending love transcending

all our weakness.

No excuses, he uses us as is.

Noah was a drunk man, Abraham an old man,

Jacob was a lying man, Leah second best.

 Jonah should have followed God

But ran away instead,

Martha was a worrywart, and Lazarus was dead.

Jesus said to stay awake, the fell asleep instead,

Peter turned and ran away, and Jesus hung and bled.

As is,

As is,

He chooses us as His.

As His,

As His,

He infuses us as is.

Never ending love transcending

all our weakness.

No excuses, He uses us,

No excuses, He chooses us,

No excuses, He uses us as is.”

It was deep, for me. We put all of these people up on a little pedestal and think they were just such great people that we forget that they were just like us.  There have been multiple times when I’ve thought “How can God use me? I’ve messed up so many times, and I keep on messing up.” And then the next day my dad or step mom will tell me how much of a blessing it’s been for them that they took me in when I left my mom’s house. How much closer to God they’ve grown, since I came into their home.

What I’ve realized is that the closer you get to God, the closer you bring the people around you. What you do affects everyone you’re around, whether it’s the waitress at the diner you’re getting lunch at, or the people you live with. Before I moved into my dad’s house, he and his wife went to church occasionally, but they didn’t really do anything more. I moved in and started going to a college-age group through their church and come home and do bible studies on my own, and then within a week they’re listening to the Bible get read to them through whatever app they’ve found every night, they’re making church a priority in their week, and they’ve started helping out at church instead of just going to service and sitting through the sermon.

I’m not telling you this to boast about what I’ve done to further God’s Kingdom, I’m telling you this to let you know that God uses you even when you don’t notice it. I wasn’t focusing on getting them closer to God, I was focusing on getting myself closer to God. And they witnessed in me a transformation that they wanted for themselves, as well, so they decided to give it a try.

I’m not going to tell you not to think that God can’t use you. I know he can- and is- using me, yet I still question it sometimes. It’s natural, to question it. I’m just going to tell you not to forget that he uses you even when you don’t know that he is, and don’t forget that pobody’s nerfect.

God bless. 🙂

The Spare Room

So recently, my father redid the spare bedroom to go from a John Deere theme to blue and white. It took a while, considering that they added wainscoting on the bottom and Dad was working two jobs at the same time. If he’d been home the whole time he was working on it, it probably would have been finished within a week. As it was, it took about a month and a half to get from John Deere green and yellow to crisp white and dark blue. I didn’t take any pictures of the room when it was green, but I have a few of the after, and it looks amazing:


So, the room itself might be Dad’s to brag about, but see those three pretty blue pictures on the wall up there? I did those. ME! And here’s how:

Materials List:


Multiple colors of paint, plus white paint. (You can do varying shades of the same color, like I did, or you can do a bunch of colors, like maybe green and red and gold. Pick a color palette and go with it 😉

2″ paint brush (I just used a cheap one that I got in a six-pack from the convenience store on the corner).

The Process:

So for the background of the paintings, I’ve got a before and after shot. I just made lines of light and dark blue paint down the canvas, then took the paintbrush and went over each color with long strokes from top to bottom, moving from one side of the canvas to the other.

And then all three of them turn out like this:





Then for the flowers, I put globs of white paint in the center of where I wanted the flowers at, then made a trail with the same white paint down where the stems would be, then went over it with the brush. I had to add a bit more paint to the flowers as I made the petals, as I didn’t wait for the blues to dry completely because I wanted the blues to add a bit of depth to the white flowers.

Here is the finished product, before it was hung up on the wall over the bed:





Keep in mind that you don’t have to make them flowers, either. My step-mom just wanted flowers, so she got flowers. Going with my green and red and gold idea from earlier, they could be white Christmas trees and wreaths that you put over the colorful background. Pick a silhouette, stick it over the pretty background that you made.

The total cost of the project was somewhere around $15, paints included. 🙂